As human beings, we hold the highest position in the food chain. Likewise, we are also supposed to be the most intelligent species on earth. Ofcourse, not everyone you meet is going to live up to that standard. But for the most part, it is believed that humans have a great deal of intellect and emotion.
We also have a larger memory capacity – meaning that there is ample room to hold on to feelings and emotions of things that have happened to us in the past.
Of all the emotions we as humans experience, the only two that truly control us, are Love and Pain. We hold on more strongly to these emotions because they tie in with our instinct. Humans, like every other creature on earth, are highly instinctive. We move closer to experiences and people who make us feel loved, appreciated and valued, and distance ourselves from that which causes us discomfort, uneasiness and pain. The bond that we create however, is equally strong with regards to both emotions. Therefore breaking away from either, is difficult. As a result, we instinctively clutch onto these emotions, because changing the way we feel is far too hard.
Loving someone also means trusting them. It is when this trust is broken, that we feel hurt, betrayed and ‘unloved’. We then hold a grudge and vow never to trust or love this person ever again. We hold on to that hot coal as a means of protecting ourselves from getting hurt again.
What you need to realize is that, holding on to past hurt and heartaches, does nothing to the other person. It simply destroys YOU. It breaks you down, damages your self confidence and your own ability to trust again. Holding onto the mistakes of others, does not undo what they’ve done, nor does it make them a better person. You are not responsible for changing another human being. You cannot mold and shape a person to suit your own needs. They are going to be who they are, regardless of who you are and your role in their life.
The best and only way to move forward after being hurt, is to forgive. Does this undo what they’ve done? No. It doesn’t. But what is does, is give you the freedom to let go and move on. Trust that the law of karma is alive and active. It will be delivered when the time is right. That is not your concern.
Your priority is to heal. The only way to heal, is to forgive those who have wronged you. Do not hold grudges and seek revenge. Seek a higher standard for yourself. You deserve that much more.
Forgiveness does not mean you are vulnerable. Take the experience and learn from it. The sooner you learn the lesson that this has to teach you, the faster you will get passed it. We only experience events repetitively when we do not learn the lesson that life is presenting to us. So be conscious. Be aware. Look at yourself from an outside view. What is it that you are meant to learn from this challenge, from this heartache, from this pain? Every person you encounter has something to teach you. Accept them for who they are. Forgive them for what they may do wrong. Be the bigger person.
Your life is priceless and short. Don’t waste another second regretting, hating or holding on to suffering. Let it go.